Tuesday, 10 July 2012

A True Fairy Tale.....The Bitch, The Witch and The Swan

Once upon a time a photographer was minding his own business overlooking a pond at a local nature reserve, when all of a sudden a huge bull mastiff bitch with huge dirty, slavery chops came beside him and wiped her dirty mush all over his pants and jumper.
Arrgg  cried the photographer, you dirty bitch. At that moment he heard howls of laughter coming from a "lady" obviously the the bull mastiff bitches owner.
You should keep her on a lead cried the photographer.
**** OFF said the owner of the bull mastiff bitch as she gave him a strange two fingered sign in passing.
Oh dear, thought the photographer, shes no lady, she must be a Wicked Witch and she has cast a spell on me with that strange two fingered sign, what ever will the future hold.
Well, the photographer tried to clean himself up as best as he could as the Witch and the Bitch went on their way.
Now, it came to pass a short time later, that a great commotion ensued on the other side of the pond, with ducks and geese and swans scattering about all over the place. At first the photographer couldn't see what was going on as the mist of water with all the splashing obscured his view. Then, when it quietened down a little what should be stood there in the water, you've guessed it, it was none other than the bull mastiff bitch. 
All the little ducklings and goslings and cygnets were paddling as fast as their little feet could muster in order to escape to a safer part of the pond. Then the the witch appeared, well she laughed and laughed until she could laugh no more, this is so much fun she thought. Go get em she yelled, and the bull mastiff bitch obeyed, jumping and pouncing at anything that swam on the water.
Mummy and daddy swan lead their brood out to deeper water, and after making sure all his cygnets were safe, daddy swan set off to confront the bull mastiff bitch, as she was still bouncing about in the water  terrifying all before her. 
The swan twisted and turned in front of the bitch, this dance mesmerized the her and almost trance like she followed daddy swan . Daddy swan lead the bitch away from his brood at the same time going into ever into deeper water.
The bull mastiff  bitch was now out of her depth and clearly struggling to stay afloat. The witch noticed this and called for her to come back, and no matter what commands she screamed to her charge it was ignored,  her laughter had turned to hysteria, help me, help me, she cried, to anyone who would listen, but none did. 
Daddy swan was now in completed control, after all this is a his territory, not a lumbering bull mastiff
Time for the hunter to become the hunted.
Sensing a weakness daddy swan turned and reared up out of the water his huge wing spread high, transforming himself from the graceful creature he is into a towering white giant, he lunged overshadowing and completely enveloping the bull mastiff bitch.......and under she went.
Wow did you see that a passer by said to the photographer, yes said the photographer, wasn't it wonderful just wonderful.

A happy witch

Come on chuck

This way

ah feeling tired chuck 




And all the little ducklings and goslings and cygnets and the photographer......................................................................... LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.